Narcissists are individuals who are excessively self-centered, viewing themselves as the focal point of the world. They often believe they are more important, valuable, and superior to others. This behavior is classified as a psychiatric condition known as narcissistic personality disorder. In psychological terms, narcissists are characterized by extreme selfishness and an inflated sense of self-importance. They are typically arrogant, self-serving, and rarely apologize, as they seldom acknowledge their mistakes. Their ego is their most prominent trait, and they direct all their affection inward, prioritizing self-love above all else.
What is a Narcissist?
The term “narcissist,” often translated as “self-lover,” is used in psychiatry to describe individuals who exaggerate their self-worth, are excessively self-admiring, egocentric, and arrogant. Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental health condition where individuals consistently perceive themselves as superior to others, often accompanied by an inflated sense of self-esteem. They believe they are exceptional and above everyone else.
Narcissists typically exhibit egocentric traits, a lack of empathy, an exaggerated sense of self-importance, and behaviors driven by a need for success and power. Their most defining characteristic is their belief that they are the center of the universe. They are self-serving, arrogant, and resistant to criticism, often refusing to apologize because they do not recognize their faults. For narcissists, praise and admiration are essential, and they often view critics as adversaries. They categorize people into two groups: those who flatter them and those who criticize them.
When Does Narcissistic Personality Disorder Emerge?
Personality is shaped by how individuals perceive themselves and their environment, as well as how they form relationships and process thoughts. Narcissistic personality disorder typically begins in adolescence or early adulthood and persists over time, causing significant issues in family, work, and social settings. This disorder affects both men and women equally and often leads to additional psychological challenges.
Who Has Narcissistic Personality Disorder?
Narcissistic personality disorder can affect individuals from all walks of life and age groups. According to the DSM-IV, the prevalence rate in the general population is approximately 6.2%. It is more commonly diagnosed in men than in women.
What Causes Narcissistic Personality Disorder?
The exact causes of narcissism are not fully understood, but it is believed to result from a combination of environmental, genetic, and neurobiological factors. Childhood experiences, such as relationships with family, excessive praise or criticism, and a family history of personality disorders, are thought to play a significant role in the development of narcissistic traits.
- A family or environment that encourages manipulative behavior
- Receiving excessive praise or criticism during childhood
- Experiencing violence or abuse as a child
- Parents placing unrealistic expectations on their child
- Being overly spoiled during upbringing
- Receiving constant, unrealistic praise instead of constructive feedback
What are the Symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder?
Narcissists often believe they are unique, crave admiration, consider themselves superior to others, and lack empathy. One of their most common tactics is isolating others, which weakens their victims over time, making them feel trapped. They are overly confident, thrive on praise, manipulate others, and believe they are always right. They are quick to defend their own rights but often disregard the rights of others.
Common traits of individuals with narcissistic personality disorder include:
- They believe they are above criticism.
- They engage in manipulative behaviors.
- They exploit others for personal gain.
- They seek friendships with individuals of similar status but often compete with them to maintain superiority.
- They exaggerate their talents and achievements, viewing them as exceptional.
- They create environments where they are always right and seek constant approval.
- They demand continuous praise and create pressure to receive it.
- They view others as less talented, successful, intelligent, or attractive.
- They assume others are self-serving.
- They believe they deserve special treatment and see themselves as the top of society.
- They derive their self-worth from others.
- Their disorder often stems from feelings of worthlessness and lack of love in childhood.
- Despite appearing confident, their self-esteem is fragile, and they fear exposing this vulnerability.
They Consider Themselves Superior
Narcissists are individuals who constantly view themselves as superior to others, often due to an inflated sense of self-esteem. They believe they are exceptional and above everyone else. However, not everyone with these traits has a personality disorder. Many individuals with narcissistic personality disorder live with an exaggerated sense of self-worth and distorted self-admiration. They expect others to reinforce these feelings and often display egocentric traits, a lack of empathy, and behaviors driven by a need for success and power.
Narcissists are Experts at Finding Fault in Others
People with narcissistic personality disorder are highly resistant to changing their problematic behaviors. They are skilled at identifying flaws in others, and even minor criticisms can lead to disagreements, conflicts, or aggressive reactions. This disorder can affect individuals from all demographics and age groups, with a prevalence rate of 6.2% according to the DSM-IV. Studies indicate that it is more common in men than in women.
They Appear Perfect to Those Close to Them
In close relationships, narcissists often appear flawless at first. They present themselves as loving, successful, and praiseworthy. However, they frequently use manipulative tactics to gain affection. They strive for superiority in success and often blame others for failures. In family and marital relationships, they may project feelings of worthlessness and inadequacy onto others, using isolation as a means to assert dominance.
Regret is Seen as a Sign of Weakness
Narcissists typically manage their relationships through control and dominance. When this control is challenged, they may respond with anger or passive-aggressive behavior. They are indifferent to the lives of others unless it serves their interests. Regret is viewed as a weakness, and while they may occasionally experience it, they rarely express it openly. When they do, they often withdraw.
They Care Deeply About Their Appearance
Narcissistic personality disorder can only be diagnosed by a qualified clinical psychologist or psychiatrist. Key indicators include a perfectionist nature, an obsession with being flawless, a refusal to accept mistakes, a lack of empathy, an excessive focus on appearance, and difficulties in relationships due to constant criticism.
Insecurity Lies at the Core
Despite their outward confidence, individuals with narcissistic personality disorder often harbor deep-seated feelings of insecurity, worthlessness, and a lack of love from childhood. As Preston Ni noted, “Many narcissists are easily upset by small events and feel like the ‘ugly duckling,’ even though they don’t want to suffer deep down.” They may oscillate between exaggerated displays of love and harsh criticism, often becoming ruthless and arrogant over time.
What are the Signs of a Narcissistic Male?
Narcissistic men are characterized by a high ego, a constant need for attention, and a lack of empathy. They are often perfectionists, relentlessly focused on success, and prone to pathological lying and manipulation.
Traits commonly seen in narcissistic men include:
- A highly inflated ego
- Self-centeredness, arrogance, and self-interest
- A constant need for attention and validation
- A lack of empathy
- Perfectionist tendencies
- An obsession with success
- Pathological lying
- Manipulative behavior to achieve their goals
How Is Narcissism Treated?
Narcissistic personality disorder is generally not treatable with medication alone. Individuals with this disorder are often resistant to treatment, so successful therapy requires a genuine desire to change. Treatment is typically conducted by a clinical psychologist specializing in narcissistic personality disorder and involves long-term psychotherapy.
Cognitive behavioral therapy is commonly used, though treating narcissistic personality disorder is challenging for therapists. Recovery often depends on a lengthy therapeutic process. Medications may be prescribed to address anxiety or depression associated with the disorder, helping to prevent further complications. Online psychologist services are also available for those seeking remote treatment.
How to Treat Someone With Narcissistic Personality Disorder?
- Clearly define boundaries when interacting with a narcissist.
- Limit and resist all manipulative behaviors, both emotionally and psychologically.
- Avoid acting out of fear of losing the narcissist.
- Address any underlying fears of abandonment.
- Do not internalize feelings of guilt, worthlessness, or inadequacy when dealing with a narcissist.
- Avoid attempting to change or fix the narcissist.
- Clearly express your feelings, whether positive or negative, toward the narcissist.
Frequently Asked Questions About Narcissistic Personality Disorder
What does narcissist mean?
Narcissists are individuals with a personality disorder characterized by self-centeredness, a need for admiration, a lack of empathy, arrogance, and a sense of entitlement.
Do people with narcissistic personality disorder experience sadness?
Yes, individuals with narcissistic personality disorder often harbor feelings of insecurity, worthlessness, and a lack of love from childhood. Despite their outward confidence, they are easily upset by minor events and may feel like the “ugly duckling.”
Do people with narcissistic personality disorder love others?
This is a common question among those in relationships with narcissists. While they may initially display exaggerated affection, they often become ruthless and arrogant over time, undermining the person they claim to love.
What happens when a narcissist is abandoned?
Narcissists seek to control their relationships. When they realize they cannot convince the other person to stay, they may resort to highlighting the person’s weaknesses or reminiscing about past good times. If these tactics fail, they may become aggressive.
Can narcissistic personality disorder be cured?
Narcissistic personality disorder is generally resistant to medication. Treatment requires long-term psychotherapy with a clinical psychologist, often using cognitive behavioral therapy. However, it is one of the most challenging disorders to treat.